Why is this blog here? Well for starters I have always wanted to write. Write what exactly? A short story, a fiction on pirates, a ridiculous love story? It’s hard to write about yourself. See how the words describe you and sometimes just sometimes you sit and wonder if you really did what your writing. How did you get to that. I will use this blog and whoever reads it to come to an actual self-realization. A self-realization to understanding the truth about butches.
You see this is the first time I write the word. For some reason now with the press getting hot on the topic of gay marriage. People seem to be quite interested on who, what, where, when and how. I love how they parade us like monkeys in a lab. Watching our every move. I have never categorized myself into a check marked box. I believe it makes everything so difficult. Are you White, Hispanic, Asian, African American? Are you tall, short, round or square? All these questions make us self-loath. Hate ourselves for who we have become so we can change to these copies. So as you see as I am writing my post. I hear nothing but angry words. So why don’t we just start from the beginning. It’s important to start from the start. I am a 25 year old female who has been known to be “gay” since elementary school. As far as my memory serves I was always into girls. I had my first girlfriend in 1st grade. All I remember was her name being Daniella, blond hair, green eyes and Colombian. How do I remember she was Colombian? All the yellow her mom made her wear to show pride in the flag colors of their home country which they had just arrived from.
I was born in Dallas, Texas but have never visited since I got on a plane when I was two years old and flew to Nicaragua. (Last time I saw my dad as well) From there I lived in the country for about three years, moved back to the states before starting 1st grade and there I met Daniella.
My first girlfriend I remember her letting me hold her hand in the school park and defending her from the boys that would pull her hair and make fun of her for having a funny accent. Fast-forward 22 years later and how was I suppose to know that simple act would mark me as a butch forever.
I say the name now with pride. Before I used to consider myself someone out of the norm but not as crazy as to say lesbian. I found it to be offensive. Why was I getting called something complete out of norm when I just felt normal. It’s not that I cared about being accepted. I always learned to accept myself before others and knew that it would never affect me in my years to come if they did or not. I didn’t care I was always the cool kid in class. Lesbian, Butch and Androgynous all these fancy names to call an individual who just like a straight kid is trying to figure out the world.
Tune in till next time!
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