I finally popped the question! She said yes…no kidding when they said rings had to be at least 3 months of your salary to be able to “look good” even though the ring is not enough for me it does hold it’s sentimental value. Diana is very old school, she likes to be romanized with many different things in an old school way. Dinner and movies, walks at the park, cuddling while watching more movies. Or I just think her way of saying old school is watching movies over and over again in the couch. Which of course I don’t mind. But my spirit is a lively one. For those of you who know me, know I have about 5 different topics that are growing inside my head.
For those that say I can not accomplish a certain task. I take it to the heart and willfully watch over 100 videos of youtube to accomplish the one thing you said I couldn’t. For example they said I would never change an oil and now I do. They said my cooking skills were bad. Boy ! Did I show them with my skills.
Everything you attempt to tell me I can not, I will accomplish. That is how thick headed I am. And I love it. I don’t give up. So to those who are concerned about what is going to happen in the states with the new president. Have faith that all that we have been through this past year will not be taken! And our date of getting married September 16,2017 will happen!
Let me know when’s your wedding? I would love to know!
It has been a while since I have written anything. But remember I was currently and still am organizing everything. Moving furniture around hanging different frames and pictures and moving tv’s and the whole shenanigans.
But it has been nothing short of awesome. I was actually getting a massage today when it popped into my head that I should write an e-book. I know I am not the only person in this journey. I believe my first book to be called “How to keep her” A short story on how to make sure you keep the one for you.
Not only is it important to understand the concept of how the words you write on paper or type on a page impact someone’s life. At a tender age of 12 I would leave my problems behind by digging my nose into a book so I would not have to deal with anything that was weighing me down. Apparently it took a better part of my life because when I moved out I had a total of 120 books all paperback of course because I did not have enough space in my room. Unfortunately I do not have a book case where I am and decided to donate them to the library.
I want to be able to write books for a living. Is that such an obscure thing now to say? Is technology keeping us apart from what we should be reading on a daily basis, and if so does it keep us apart from imagining and making believe stories on how to cope with the world around us. I remember my grandfather reading the newspaper everyday and that is how I learned to read Spanish. He would get me to read an article a day after homework to improve on my accent because I sounded like a “gringa”.
Now that I reminsce about it, I would not have my childhood any other way, I would always want to keep my love for tea, coffee and all good books.
One day I say! One day you will be reading my book……
I have to confess something I am filled with joy just looking forward for this weekend. It is my daughter’s birthday and she is turning 6 years old. It was like yesterday that she was just born. I have known her since she was inside her mommy’s stomach. I have cared for her,fed her, woken her up for school (not one of my favorite things to do btw). I have clothed her, watched her grow into this small pea size mini me of her mother. I just watch her sometimes seeing how she resembles her so much. Especially with all her fears and small quirks.
Many people are appalled that we can have children in our lives. Many people don’t agree that we should be able to raise children thinking we are going to touch them in inappropriate ways or show them inappropriate things. The most inappropriate thing is actually neglecting a child the right to have a family. Have these pepole that do nothing but judge others ever visited an orphanage ? Or have they ever seen with their own eyes a child that has really been abused or neglected?
That is why I turn the cheek and be there for my daughter. I’m there for every time she needs help, there to tell her “I love you” when she wakes up and before she goes to sleep. She is mine to protect and to cherish. To make sure she goes to school, to make sure she learns something. To make sure she knows how to change a tire. To make sure she knows she needs to earn respect and get respect to be succesful. That is my goal in life. To make sure her life is better than mine.
And if there’s anything wrong with that. It’s people that don’t want people to thrive. Sick annoying individuals whose minds are so polluted that they think everyone’s out to do harm. News flash stop hating and go mentor someone! Stop judging so our kids can stop killing themselves. Stop pointing the fingers at them so they can stop taking drugs just to escape this world.
It has been a while since I have written anything. But I assure you that good news are to come. My fiancee and I have finally moved in together !! After 5 years of dating and a life changing decision, which one day will be posted. We have finally moved into our home. We finally come home to each other. For those of you who like me struggled in the past through gender society norms and family issues understand this is a huge feat! We still have not celebrated by throwing a house party. But we will soon, it is in the plans. Our baby is starting 1st grade in exactly 5 days. I am more excited for her, she will go back to school and hopefully make new friends and start to read this year.
For those of you who do not know me personally, I am on a journey to uncover years of abuse and mistreatment from others for people who wish to be different.People who may or may not call themselves butches. This past year we have gone through so much since President Obama decided to stand up for us as 1st class citizens. We are now in the spectrum of the world where they judge us and throwing bible verses at us like it is holy water. It is getting plain and boring. I do not really care to know if it was genetics, family upbringing or just plain psychology that I chose to be the way I am. I am who I am and it has taken me a long time to be the confident, smart, attractive, intellectual being I am today. This is my journey. Be part of it. Let’s grow together and let’s show the world we are perfect just the way we are! Make sure to post your thoughts and comments on the bottom section!
Why is this blog here? Well for starters I have always wanted to write. Write what exactly? A short story, a fiction on pirates, a ridiculous love story? It’s hard to write about yourself. See how the words describe you and sometimes just sometimes you sit and wonder if you really did what your writing. How did you get to that. I will use this blog and whoever reads it to come to an actual self-realization. A self-realization to understanding the truth about butches.
You see this is the first time I write the word. For some reason now with the press getting hot on the topic of gay marriage. People seem to be quite interested on who, what, where, when and how. I love how they parade us like monkeys in a lab. Watching our every move. I have never categorized myself into a check marked box. I believe it makes everything so difficult. Are you White, Hispanic, Asian, African American? Are you tall, short, round or square? All these questions make us self-loath. Hate ourselves for who we have become so we can change to these copies. So as you see as I am writing my post. I hear nothing but angry words. So why don’t we just start from the beginning. It’s important to start from the start. I am a 25 year old female who has been known to be “gay” since elementary school. As far as my memory serves I was always into girls. I had my first girlfriend in 1st grade. All I remember was her name being Daniella, blond hair, green eyes and Colombian. How do I remember she was Colombian? All the yellow her mom made her wear to show pride in the flag colors of their home country which they had just arrived from.
I was born in Dallas, Texas but have never visited since I got on a plane when I was two years old and flew to Nicaragua. (Last time I saw my dad as well) From there I lived in the country for about three years, moved back to the states before starting 1st grade and there I met Daniella.
My first girlfriend I remember her letting me hold her hand in the school park and defending her from the boys that would pull her hair and make fun of her for having a funny accent. Fast-forward 22 years later and how was I suppose to know that simple act would mark me as a butch forever.
I say the name now with pride. Before I used to consider myself someone out of the norm but not as crazy as to say lesbian. I found it to be offensive. Why was I getting called something complete out of norm when I just felt normal. It’s not that I cared about being accepted. I always learned to accept myself before others and knew that it would never affect me in my years to come if they did or not. I didn’t care I was always the cool kid in class. Lesbian, Butch and Androgynous all these fancy names to call an individual who just like a straight kid is trying to figure out the world.